For those who are serious practitioners of the spiritual path it seems obvious to comment that self- change and development is hard. It can lead you into all sorts of inner and outer circumstances both painful and liberating. You have to churn out all of the difficult and uncomfortable aspects of your psyche and face them unblinkingly.
The spiritual urge is one of the greatest impulses in the universe. Reality is always pushing you to change and evolve and to jump on the spiritual bandwagon and ride the wave (I don’t know why I am using a metaphor of surfing on a bandwagon by the way… just go with it). It is the most painful, the most blissful and rewarding thing you can do with your life and probably the most natural (I’m talking about spirituality development… not surfing on a bandwagon).
Such experiences can turn you inside out. I’m writing this because I have recently got out a a particularly strange and confounding stage in my personal development. I was lucky enough to be on a retreat at the Adhisthana Retreat Centre in Hertfordshire (part of the Triratna Buddhist Order). Things were brought up that I had hardly been aware of for most of my life but were very familiar to me when they came bursting out from the depths. I felt very supported by the order members and friends that were around me during the retreat, letting me work through what was going on. It was a strange and necessary process and I expect there to be a few more of these experiences in the future.
… When I got out of the eye of the hurricane I felt warmer, different and grateful. I still felt the same on the surface level but I knew that something deeply had changed within me. I felt like rededicating myself more fully and devotedly to my spiritual path.
I wonder what the next hurdle will be in my spiritual development?